Niggling thoughts irritated me like a mosquito looking for blood.
where are you God?
haven’t I been serving you?
don’t you love me?
how could you have let this happen?
I know you’ve been there too…facing a situation that is Too Big. Too Bad. Too Heartbreaking for you to understand. Your nerve endings feel like they’re on fire, and the tears. Oh the tears…
They drip off your chin like acid rain eating a hole in your heart.
I wrestle with sacrilegious thoughts. I wonder if I love him. He doesn’t care. He hasn’t answered my prayers. Probably never will. I can hardly bear the suffocating feeling that I’m being punished.
how can I believe in a God who doesn’t answer when I call out to Him?
I mean isn’t that the very proof that we are loved by God? That we pray and he answers? Being a Christian is supposed to mean that he cares so much for our wellbeing that he instantly puts things to-rights. Right?
Apparently not, if my life is an indicator.
I was preparing a Sunday School lesson when I came across the answer. I admit, I skimmed over the verses at first because I’ve read them so many times my brain was on auto-pilot. But something caught my attention and I slowed down to re-read them.
Romans 8:26-27 “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning’s too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according the will of God.” (ESV)
We don’t even know what to pray for. We’re consumed with protecting our safe and normal life, wrongly assuming God wants that for us as well.
If that’s the wrong assumption…that safe and normal are out, there must be purpose for our pain. There must be a reason for seasons of anguish and turmoil.
The purpose shows up at the end of verse 27. “…because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” We don’t fully understand the will of God but the Spirit does.
Our selfishness prevents us from praying as we should. So the Spirit intercedes, steps in. He cries out to the Father on our behalf that his will be accomplished and that we would choose the way of humility, servanthood, holiness, peace.
It’s our character that he longs to change, not necessarily our situation.
So then, when we pray his answer will always be a resounding yes. Don’t believe those who say that maybe his answer is no, or not now. It’s ALWAYS YES!
Yes to his will being accomplished.
Yes to replacing your selfishness with servanthood.
Yes to drawing your heart into depths of communion with him you wouldn’t otherwise know.
Yes to your story impacting others and bringing glory to God.
Yes that his plan is good.
All to Jesus I surrender, all to him I feely give.
I will ever love and trust him
In his presence daily live